Oh, men. When oh when oh when will you realize the complex creatures that we women are? I don't think it's possible really. Actually, strike that, we seem to come to some kind of impasse when you start getting discounts to the movies, special menus at IHOP and designated shopping days at Ross: dress for Less...in other words, your senior yrs. Why does it take so dam long?! Why do y'all turn into these amazing, understanding, participating, pro-active partners when we all have gray hair on our toes? You couldn't give in earlier? We did! We gave in when you smiled at us across the gym in your basketball uniform, we gave in when you sat at our table in the library pretending to read for pleasure and not for a grade, we gave in to you when you listened to us whine about our mothers and how impossible it was to live with them, we gave in...at hello. We always have.
With wild abandon we gave ourselves to you and imagined doves flying in blue skies and some cute boys choir standing in a store front window w/crisp white shirts and black dress pants singing soprano before they realized that puberty would make that so not cool. But they sound like angels right now...and we appreciate it. We could see ourselves with you forever. But you can only see yourself w/us tonight. Yikes. Therein lies the problem. God is a comedian. And we are doomed.
Doomed. What happens is we split and the woman usually goes out and lays dormant and depressed for some months while listening to a bunch of slow, lesbian, hippy, Christian, music that makes us get out of bed and take a shower at some point because we are pissed and finally feel empowered to go out there and catch the attention of someone (usually a man) that can validate how awesome we think we really are. We could find out how awesome we are on our own but that involves not shaving for months and cutting our hair. Boo. And eww.
Relationships, as great as they are, suck just as much. All you happy newcomers enjoy it now because that will fade and real life will kick you in your face and you will have to put your big girl panties on and get on with it. It's your choice. We are all different and beautiful in our own messed up way and we find each other and fall in...something. If it's worth it, we will put in the work and make it to the promised land! IHOP!
Friday, November 23, 2012
Saturday, July 21, 2012
I do.
You know, life is crazy. It comes from all directions and it doesn't stop. I can barely handle the fact that it's 2012 which makes me every bit of 42 yrs. #@$%^U*&^%$ but not only that but where the hell did July go???? Was it just not the 4th of July? I was so happy for everyone taking the week off. The traffic was light and spirits were high but here we are; it's already the 21st and you might as well put July to bed...it's done. So I said all of that to say that life is short and the things that royally piss us off on a daily basis really shouldn't if you look at the big picture. Think about all the monumental things that could have happened. Go ahead, I'll give you a sec. Feeling bad yet? I do. I should be ashamed of myself.
But it's not entirely my fault. Come Aug. 7 I will have been married for 7 yrs. to the beautiful, and manly, Mr. James Williams. We were married for 8 glorious months before we decided that overseas work for James would be the way to go. : / It was such an opportunity and blah blah blizzle. Then he left. I thought I would die. I remember walking through our quaint 863 sq. ft. apt. like someone killed my dog right in front of me. It wasn't pretty. I could not believe that we prayed for this. I was so sad! I missed my poodle. For days and days I pouted. But by the time the first check got deposited into our acct...I was good. I was really good. You mean I just have to clean up after myself? You mean I can eat cereal for a wk.? You mean I can watch all the reality tv I want w/o being judged? I'm cutting my hair!!!!! (I still miss that Mohawk. sigh.) In other words, I became accustomed. And then after a couple of yrs., he came home. And stayed. Yaaaaay! Ummmm, can you pick up your shoes? Can you clean the bathroom? Do you have any idea when this bill is due? Hell no! This is marriage!? I was thrown for a loop and I was beside myself.
So then he went back overseas and this pattern has been going on since we have been married. This last time he left for Afghanistan and it was different. We both were not prepared for the separation and we surely didn't want it but our savings was dwindling and no one was calling for interviews anymore. My job surely couldn't hold it down and we, again, decided that overseas it would have to be. Frickin' boo.
We just got used to being a married couple. We had the house and the yard and the dog and the bills...it was great. Even though I could do w/o the side of his bed looking like "who did it and why?" I would have loved for him to do the yard like our yard guys would. I wouldn't mind him scheduling the monthly bills to go out. And then he left...again. This time was really hard. Reallly hard. Enough was enough. Our marriage, our spirits couldn't take it anymore. He came home for R&R at the end of May, had an interview the very next day...nailed it. He got the job and has been home for 2 months now. He's back and we will never again take each other for granted. I am so happy I can barely contain it. Yes, we are an old married couple and I love it. The weekends have been used for DIY house projects and whatever the hell else we feel like doing, all is well with the world! Date nights have been reinstated, simply put, I have my best friend back. I love being married and I love the ugliness and awkwardness because when it's pretty it's so dam pretty.
But it's not entirely my fault. Come Aug. 7 I will have been married for 7 yrs. to the beautiful, and manly, Mr. James Williams. We were married for 8 glorious months before we decided that overseas work for James would be the way to go. : / It was such an opportunity and blah blah blizzle. Then he left. I thought I would die. I remember walking through our quaint 863 sq. ft. apt. like someone killed my dog right in front of me. It wasn't pretty. I could not believe that we prayed for this. I was so sad! I missed my poodle. For days and days I pouted. But by the time the first check got deposited into our acct...I was good. I was really good. You mean I just have to clean up after myself? You mean I can eat cereal for a wk.? You mean I can watch all the reality tv I want w/o being judged? I'm cutting my hair!!!!! (I still miss that Mohawk. sigh.) In other words, I became accustomed. And then after a couple of yrs., he came home. And stayed. Yaaaaay! Ummmm, can you pick up your shoes? Can you clean the bathroom? Do you have any idea when this bill is due? Hell no! This is marriage!? I was thrown for a loop and I was beside myself.
So then he went back overseas and this pattern has been going on since we have been married. This last time he left for Afghanistan and it was different. We both were not prepared for the separation and we surely didn't want it but our savings was dwindling and no one was calling for interviews anymore. My job surely couldn't hold it down and we, again, decided that overseas it would have to be. Frickin' boo.
We just got used to being a married couple. We had the house and the yard and the dog and the bills...it was great. Even though I could do w/o the side of his bed looking like "who did it and why?" I would have loved for him to do the yard like our yard guys would. I wouldn't mind him scheduling the monthly bills to go out. And then he left...again. This time was really hard. Reallly hard. Enough was enough. Our marriage, our spirits couldn't take it anymore. He came home for R&R at the end of May, had an interview the very next day...nailed it. He got the job and has been home for 2 months now. He's back and we will never again take each other for granted. I am so happy I can barely contain it. Yes, we are an old married couple and I love it. The weekends have been used for DIY house projects and whatever the hell else we feel like doing, all is well with the world! Date nights have been reinstated, simply put, I have my best friend back. I love being married and I love the ugliness and awkwardness because when it's pretty it's so dam pretty.
Saturday, April 21, 2012
Shower curtains
I just realized that my personal growth shows up in my shower curtain choices. How crazy is that? Not so much, said my guest bathroom. My master bath would echo the same but it is in a mild state of disrepair w/paint swatches dotting the walls and a toilet that no longer flushes to my liking so I haven't really been motivated to bring it to it's full glory. Sad, I know, but I'll get there. Back to my personal growth...
When I moved into my first apt., the living room was the star. I trekked to Ikea (duh!) to get the required futon w/wood frame, the black magazine rack and the low profile tv stand. I was so excited! I had no idea that my soul would eventually come home to roost in the bathroom. The bathroom. The first apt. I shared w/my husband was so intimate and so wanted. I remember going over the floor plan card like my life depended on it. I fell in love w/the place upon entry. This was where I wanted to share my newlywed yrs. and I needed them to put the paperwork through post haste...dammit. When they contacted us saying it was a go I jumped for joy and started thinking of ways to make it home. We were moving in a month before we got marred so money was low, really low. Our family donated furniture and we, again, trekked to Ikea for some stuff. Cute, sturdy and affordable...right up our alley. But when it came to the bathroom, I needed time. I had to pick colors that both hubby and I would enjoy. It wasn't easy work getting him to accept our wedding colors: tangerine and fuchsia, but he loved it in the end. And he would love our bathroom too. I ended up picking a plastic curtain w/this huge orange flower on it from Target. I looooooved it. It was gorgeous and I got a ton of compliments on it. But plastic??!! Really? There was a time that I thought that ish was cute? Yup, and I have the pictures to prove it.
Moving on and moving out. When we moved into our first home I realized, omg, I have 2 bathrooms to play with!!!!!!!! I was in my glee. Glee! I tried to put my past shower curtains up but it never felt "right." It felt borrowed and unfamiliar, even though I loved them in apt. In this new space it just didn't work. So off to Target I went to stand in the midst of bathroom accessories until something moved me. I was definitely a fabric girl now. No more plastic for me, no matter how beautiful the graphic was. Fabrics moved me. They feel broken in, comfortable, grown. Hmmmmm, exactly how I felt when we moved into our home. I saw this on ideeli today
and it took me less than a few minutes to realize that I had to have it. It's soft and feminine and me. Hubby may look at it and shake his head but he won't trip in the end bcuz he knows happy wife happy life. Choose your battles, boo boo. : p I can't wait for it to get here so that I can see what it "feels" like in the space. Life is sweet.
When I moved into my first apt., the living room was the star. I trekked to Ikea (duh!) to get the required futon w/wood frame, the black magazine rack and the low profile tv stand. I was so excited! I had no idea that my soul would eventually come home to roost in the bathroom. The bathroom. The first apt. I shared w/my husband was so intimate and so wanted. I remember going over the floor plan card like my life depended on it. I fell in love w/the place upon entry. This was where I wanted to share my newlywed yrs. and I needed them to put the paperwork through post haste...dammit. When they contacted us saying it was a go I jumped for joy and started thinking of ways to make it home. We were moving in a month before we got marred so money was low, really low. Our family donated furniture and we, again, trekked to Ikea for some stuff. Cute, sturdy and affordable...right up our alley. But when it came to the bathroom, I needed time. I had to pick colors that both hubby and I would enjoy. It wasn't easy work getting him to accept our wedding colors: tangerine and fuchsia, but he loved it in the end. And he would love our bathroom too. I ended up picking a plastic curtain w/this huge orange flower on it from Target. I looooooved it. It was gorgeous and I got a ton of compliments on it. But plastic??!! Really? There was a time that I thought that ish was cute? Yup, and I have the pictures to prove it.
Moving on and moving out. When we moved into our first home I realized, omg, I have 2 bathrooms to play with!!!!!!!! I was in my glee. Glee! I tried to put my past shower curtains up but it never felt "right." It felt borrowed and unfamiliar, even though I loved them in apt. In this new space it just didn't work. So off to Target I went to stand in the midst of bathroom accessories until something moved me. I was definitely a fabric girl now. No more plastic for me, no matter how beautiful the graphic was. Fabrics moved me. They feel broken in, comfortable, grown. Hmmmmm, exactly how I felt when we moved into our home. I saw this on ideeli today
and it took me less than a few minutes to realize that I had to have it. It's soft and feminine and me. Hubby may look at it and shake his head but he won't trip in the end bcuz he knows happy wife happy life. Choose your battles, boo boo. : p I can't wait for it to get here so that I can see what it "feels" like in the space. Life is sweet.
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