Well dammit, it's official!

So my first post to my first blog and I must say it feels lovely, dahling. It's been a long time coming but I swear wasting time is becoming a habit for me and that's really not cute. What's even less so is that I don't know what the hell I'm spending my time on. Okay, yeah I do, but I refuse to admit that I'm spending that much time watching others live their dreams on YouTube while I subscribe to my favorites. YouTube. Really? I had to laugh at myself today as I manically searched and searched for Mariah Carey's "Touch my Body" karaoke style.
I need to find a job. Not just any job though. I want a job that I still cannot verbalize to save my life. I have been trying to figure out what I want to do w/the rest of my life ever since I went back to school to complete my Bachelor's in Media Production. I graduated in May of last yr. and it was the biggest accomplishment of my life, that is if you don't count snagging my hunk of a husband who just so happens to be 8 yrs. my junior. Hey, Charlie...Winning! But now that I've graduated and the company that I interned w/didn't hire me I feel like I got dropped off at the orphanage with the clothes on my back and my mom's expensive locket. So now what? Maybe I shouldn't have put all my eggs in one basket. Maybe I should have had a plan b and all that but I didn't. So again I ask, now what? The effed up thing about it is I'm soooooo random. I don't want to do just anything I want to do everything! But hello, Simone. (and this is where it gets tricky) You're 41 yrs old. Starting over now? Yup.
I remember sitting in my bedroom when I was 5 or 6; I had a stack of 45's and a red record player. I would play those records over and over until it got dark. I remember sitting in my bedroom when I was 12 or 13 with my jambox making mixed tapes off the radio while I dreamed of who and what I would become. I knew it would be something significant something so much bigger than me.
Man, I miss my music. I need to find my music and get there again, get to that place where anything is possible because I only had to imagine it.