Oh, men. When oh when oh when will you realize the complex creatures that we women are? I don't think it's possible really. Actually, strike that, we seem to come to some kind of impasse when you start getting discounts to the movies, special menus at IHOP and designated shopping days at Ross: dress for Less...in other words, your senior yrs. Why does it take so dam long?! Why do y'all turn into these amazing, understanding, participating, pro-active partners when we all have gray hair on our toes? You couldn't give in earlier? We did! We gave in when you smiled at us across the gym in your basketball uniform, we gave in when you sat at our table in the library pretending to read for pleasure and not for a grade, we gave in to you when you listened to us whine about our mothers and how impossible it was to live with them, we gave in...at hello. We always have.
With wild abandon we gave ourselves to you and imagined doves flying in blue skies and some cute boys choir standing in a store front window w/crisp white shirts and black dress pants singing soprano before they realized that puberty would make that so not cool. But they sound like angels right now...and we appreciate it. We could see ourselves with you forever. But you can only see yourself w/us tonight. Yikes. Therein lies the problem. God is a comedian. And we are doomed.
Doomed. What happens is we split and the woman usually goes out and lays dormant and depressed for some months while listening to a bunch of slow, lesbian, hippy, Christian, music that makes us get out of bed and take a shower at some point because we are pissed and finally feel empowered to go out there and catch the attention of someone (usually a man) that can validate how awesome we think we really are. We could find out how awesome we are on our own but that involves not shaving for months and cutting our hair. Boo. And eww.
Relationships, as great as they are, suck just as much. All you happy newcomers enjoy it now because that will fade and real life will kick you in your face and you will have to put your big girl panties on and get on with it. It's your choice. We are all different and beautiful in our own messed up way and we find each other and fall in...something. If it's worth it, we will put in the work and make it to the promised land! IHOP!
