The weekend...

What is it about the weekend that makes me forget that I'm on a weight loss journey that has no off days? Friday comes and all I want to do is get the party started and pick up the pieces come Sunday. Yeah...no. I was laying here in bed catching up on my IG and people are posting pics of themselves at the gym, at 5ks, taking a hike, preparing healthy breakfasts and I'm like damn....on a Sat.? Yes! On a Sat. I'm gonna get there...like soon. I'm no longer swooning and coveting other peoples bodies I'm excited about creating my own. Looking forward to seeing my fine self. : p
Yesterday I pulled on a pair of pants that I wear all the time and they were swimming on me. I immediately looked down to see if I grabbed the wrong ones but nope...they were mine and they were  loose. Yes, Lawd! Though my workouts have waned, I've been eating 5-6x a day to keep my metabolism up. I've been adding my supplements to my smoothies and upping my water. It seems my body is positively responding to the regimen. Feels so good!
Now with all that said, why in the hell would I wreck it on the weekend? Ahhhh....got it.  Work in progress...

So this is the 40's...

So I'm 44 yrs. of age. I said that out loud the other day and my knees literally buckled. How in the hell did I arrive at middle age without me noticing? Wait, ever since I have crossed into the forties I have become fully aware of my age. It's not pretty. Every morning is a new pain followed by the fleeting thought I must have cancer. Every doctors visit seems closer and closer and they all seem to have disheartening news. Every phone call I get I'm praying that there is no bad news coming from the other end. Good Lord...is this what it's gonna be like now? 

It's crazy because  I have never felt nor looked my age so I never really thought about it. I always took care of my skin but my health...not so much. So last year when I was diagnosed with high blood pressure it really shook me up. That same year my Gynecologist said that kids were probably not an option without the help of a fertility Dr. I lost My uncle, my aunt and my cousin all within months of each other. Banner year. 

So to answer my previous question...I still have hope. I have so much hope that I'm starting over and finally using some of this knowledge that I have. This time, I'm gonna use it for good. I'm going to save myself from myself. I have listened to that inner voice of mine for too long. The bitch is wrong and strong! She is a feisty thing and talks me in/out of things like it's the truth. Well now I know enough to realize that I need to trust the process and just do it. And that goes for other things in my life, not just this road to health. 

I will not subject my body to this high bp medicine for the rest of my life. It is poison! It has changed my body from the inside out and I'm so not down with that. I'm going to snatch back my health, the natural way. Hubby is on board too which helps. Team Williams in full effect! I don't care if it's hard, it will be done.